Here it is 11:50 at night and I am having another sleepless night because of ME. I am my own worst enemy, struggling everyday to get on the walk the walk and talk the talk.

I’ve had a day that was I thought just a relaxing day and it put me into a funk and crazy eating. I’ve asked my self why do I put myself through this? I’m having a hard time even putting my food actions into words.  I am starting this cleanse on August 8th for 24 days and then I’m converting over to the dash diet. The cleanse is to get my body ready for the diet and  hopefully, sticking to the diet will actually work.

Between now and the 8th of August I have to control my eating and drinking – mainly the eating. I go on these experimental diets all the time and I set a date in hopes of getting ready and I end up eating crazy for a month and then my efforts are lost because I crash and burn on every single weight loss attempt I have done over the last 5 years. I have never had so much trouble in my life.

I’m going to the Dr. tomorrow for my physical and I am going to be putting into place some major lifestyle changes like the 1st change was giving up red meat. Next will be giving up coffee and only drinking tea (getting off the caffeine due to my anxiety).

Each week I will have a new change to document so that I can get to the bottom of why I feel so rotten . So for tonight I m going to try and get some sleep till tomorrow………. -P-